I tackle the tough job of exploring life in America for those across the globe wondering what it's like to live in a country where freedom hangs from trees like fruit, dripping sweet, saucy awesomeness onto your head as you whizz past below them on your ebike while eating a Big Mac, waving at the guy on his riding lawn mower and the gorgeous blonde wimmin zooming by in her Cybertruck.
Hang on a minute. I have to feed this flock of American eagles that have just landed on my shoulders. Prolly give them some mac and cheese.